Real Talk with Lady Jen Du Plessis

Welcome to Heal Talk Tuesdays with Liza, where
transformation begins as we vote in race and evolve.
Greetings Greetings Greetings and welcome to Real Talk Tuesdays with
Liza. Today not only I am excited but I am honored to have Lady Jen
Du Plessis with us today. Hi Jen. Hi there, I am delighted to be here
today. This is a long time coming, right? I’m excited. Delighted to be here,
delighted to be able to share as much as I can in the time we have together.
Beautiful. Well, we are ending the year with you and I can’t think of any other
interview that I would have had this season,
ending the season with because you are one seasoned lady.
Oh gosh, thank you. I am. I am.
So I want to take a moment and introduce Lady Jen Du Plessis who is a leading.
Expert in building world class teams. She’s worked in high-achieving
corporations, leaders and entrepreneurs and who has struck.
Oh, we’re not on Facebook? Why not? We’re not lights. We’re live somewhere.
We are live somewhere but I ask they to go on to people.
Why are we not live on Facebook? It says we’re live.
Oh, this is always fun. So if we still are live on
Facebook, how are you everybody? We’ll figure it out.
Okay. I’m on it. This is who we are.
Actually, hold on a second. I know what is wrong.
And I’m here. I just found what is wrong.
And apparently we are not.
I don’t see it. How do I say we have to go live on public?
Yeah, how are we live and not live? We’re live somewhere.
We are live but I need to edit live being public, profile
status and it’s not live public. This happens every time.
It’s like you know what happens to me and if we are live with people here,
you know what happened to me recently is that when I try to go live on Facebook
through Zoom, it says I don’t have authorization and that’s a brand new thing.
Brand new. It’s crazy. Okay. You know what we’re going to do?
We’re going to continue and this will be re-quishing.
Yeah. And then I will push it live to public.
Perfect. Okay. Perfect. So let us know.
I want to get it started again. Do we want to stop and stop?
I love it. I love women power. Yes, it is.
Okay. So allow me to start. Lady Jen is a leading expert in building rural
world-class teams and when I say that is not only she works with high-achieving
corporation leaders and entrepreneurs but takes every one individual,
especially women because she specializes in working with women and empowering
them to go from six figures to seven figures.
Through her mastermind, she has done private mentorship, group leading,
and scaled her business revenue and improved leadership skills all the way
to building powerful teams and enabling multiple results in record time.
So not only she is a financial services industry for the
last four decades, but she was one of the top 200 mortgage or
originators and funded over $1 billion in mortgage loans.
So here’s the thing. She’s the author of not only numerous
Amazon’s and speaker author books and everything, but her number one book
that she talks about and her host of the TV show,
“Tell me I can’t and I love this title, Lady Jen.
It’s like, “Dear me and let me show you.”
So welcome to Real Talk Tuesdays and the platform is yours, my lady.
Well, it’s not the platform is in mind, but I’m going to let you ask me questions.
That’s for sure. But thank you. I mean, it’s great to be here.
And I know that my bio is pretty long and so it can get confusing to
redraw and understand. But you know, the bottom line is that what I do is I
help business owners and entrepreneurs,
doctors, big, big part of my business, doctors, all kinds of doctors,
and corporations, corporations, learn how to stop working in and on their
business and start living above and beyond their business.
And my mentor, Les Brown, says that if you do a tarp, life will be easy.
If you do a tizzy life will be hard and oftentimes,
we’re doing a lot of things very easy and very
superficially because we don’t want to dig in.
But what I learned from Les is that it’s, let’s define, let’s do a tarp.
It’s not working long hard hours. That’s what we all think we need is,
oh, I’ll just work more hours and that’ll be working hard.
That is not working hard. What we want to do is do the hard work.
Set up the systems, work on your social media, work on your
branding, work on your elevator speech, work on your
sales pitch, work on your deliverables to your clients,
work on your calendar, right? And your priority management,
work on all of those things so that life can be easy.
But work on them just for a little while. Dig
in deep now so that you can have that easy life.
And so I always say, for me, it means work on purpose so you can play with passion.
Don’t just work. I have that. Work on purpose so you can live by
playing with passion. Yeah. And you know, for me, it means get in, get my work done.
Be very systematic about it. Be very intentional. Have priorities, right?
Priorities, what needs to get done versus all the little fun things that I can do
all day long that take up too much time. Work on that and then go dance or go play
with my grand baby who I just stopped playing with a few minutes ago.
I had my daughter come over and said, I need baby time. So he’s been over here the
last hour and a half and I’ve been playing with him right before I started this call.
And you know, I put you in a different frame of mind.
You know, compared to how I was before that when my husband and I were
arguing about something and you know, and so that that changes your
your energy, right? The energy that you bring to anything. So I said, in
my daughter, bringing over, let me play for a little bit. I can’t come
over there, but bringing here. And then I’m right back to working on purpose
again, accomplishing everything that I’m going to accomplish today.
And you know, that’s the living a life of quality versus having a quality life.
And for me, that’s super important because my
mom used to tell me, you know, when I was on
the phone, if they were taking the kids here
and we’re going there and we’re traveling here,
we’re, you know, and I have this speaking gig
and whatever the case may be. And she said,
you have such a great quality of life. And I
slept on that that one night that she told me,
I’ll never forget it. And I thought, I don’t want
a quality of life. That’s like keeping up with
the Joneses. That’s like, oh, I need to get a
Montblanc pen for those of you that remember that
because that was a sign of success. If you had
a Montblanc pen, but once I got the Montblanc
pen, I thought, well, this is just a pen and
I have to replace it and it leaks all over my
purse. And you know, it was just constant and
I thought, well, that’s not the success I want.
I want a life of quality, a life where I get into
my work and then I can go and play and do whatever
I want to do. And to me, that’s more important than
a quality of life. And I still make money, right?
Let’s, we all make money, right? We have to. Right.
So we get to. Yeah. So if you could share about your
background and what initially drew you to where
you are today, I mean, from mortgage and loans
and being on that high level seven figure eight
figure and being in that top industry as a woman
many years ago, what shifted you to be where
you are to being an author, speaker and coaching
others to reach that level. Yeah. It’s a really great
question because I don’t get asked it that often.
So thank you for asking that. It’s interesting
because all of this that is transpire that we’re
not now would not have happened. Had I not been
a top performer had not had happened, it had
I not started a podcast and that’s where the
two Mary otherwise I would be a retired long
officer. So what happened was so I mean way back,
I’m not going to spend too much time on this,
but way back, I was known as Jenny who got a
penny, but my uncle had nicknamed for all 36 of us
cousins and mine happened to be Jenny who he got
a penny. And of course I didn’t quite understand
that as a little girl, but I carried a penny on my
shoe and so every time he said that I would pull
it out and ha ha ha I got you, I had a penny, but
later I figured it out and it was because my dad was
an alcoholic. My mom was a verbal abuser. She
was my first bully and we were the poorest of all
the family members and you know we and they
didn’t go to school and all of that. So he was
really saying it in a different way and maybe it
rhymed and it was fine, but you know the under town was
you know I mean his statement was derogatory
and yet you took it in a different way.
Right, right and you know he and so, but one day
he said to me you know Jenny the way that life
works is what you know if your parents are
alcoholics you will be an alcoholic, if your parents
smoke you’re going to smoke, if they’re poor
you’re going to be poor and that’s what hit me
and triggered me and so I’d set out to a life
of proving. Well I’ll show you and this is where
tell me I can’t come from you know 50 years later,
but but you know just saying hey I’m going to
show you so I excelled in everything. I was pre-med,
I was going to be a cardiologist and so I was
in medical school and then I ended up getting a
degree in architectural design and construction
engineering. So I’m very smart and but I played flute
and pickle in the Colorado Springs Symphony when
I was in 11th and 12th grade. I was Miss Colorado
Springs and runner up Miss Colorado. I was a state
champion tennis player. I ran track and feel. I was
along this in front of her. I was a cheerleader.
I mean so you know I excelled in everything and
then I took that into my life, into my adulthood
and I excelled at everything I did in the workplace
and you know after retiring after 35 years and
lending you know it was either I have three
criteria. I will not be in lending at 55. I will fund
a billion dollars of loans and I will not be in
the business 40 years and so I retired 35 years in
the business 54 years old and a billion dollars
in funding. In fact I funded a billion on a Friday
and I went in on Monday and I quit because I
had built a bridge. I was ready. I was ready.
I’m prepared. Still what we talk about the work
that I do working with the subconscious tapping to
the subconscious mind. It’s a mindset reset right
from the core. That’s what I talk about. Mindset
reset from the core. So as a girl tell you I can’t
it fueled you to excel and you kept excelling.
So the seeds you planted the decisions that you made
it’s like you know so many of us say vision board
but instead of a vision board you instilled and
planted the seed. This is what I’m going to do. This
is it’s like a statement to self. Yes yeah and
that’s why my show is not told don’t tell me I can’t
because to me that’s confrontational. Don’t you tell me I can’t. This is bringing on.
Yeah go ahead. Tell me I can’t and watch what I
do. Tell me I can and watch me fly. Tell me I can’t
and get out of my way. Right and that’s why I wrote
the book tell me I can’t too because I wanted to
you know really have my thought process there.
Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I should be
drinking and smoking. Maybe I’m poor. Maybe I’m not
to wait a minute. Hold on I have aspects and then
going through imposter syndrome. Maybe I’m not
good enough having good days and bad days to saying
I’m woman watch me roar. You know here I go.
Here I go. Here I go. Here I’m me roar. And
so when I when I got in the top 200 of load officers
in the country and I did have another trigger.
You know climbing this ladder. I called walking the
concrete balance beam and we’ve all done it. We’re
walking a curb in a parking lot talking on the
phone while our families are doing whatever but you
know we’re trying to say hey our client needs us
so I have to go make this phone call you don’t
have this phone call. And I happened to look
into the window you know of the restaurant and my
family was enjoying themselves and this was the
trigger this had happened a thousand times right
and it would happen many times afterwards as I tried to figure it out. But it
triggered me like oh my gosh I’m watching this it was
like being in a train and just that life was going by me
and I was at artistic meeting. I was just a look
of an onlooker and that was the trigger that
that’s something’s got again I can’t work I’ve
been zillion hours I was working hard I was doing
very well it was at the top 1 percent but I wasn’t
in the top 200 people. One percent is 75,000 people.
Talked to a hundred different now I wasn’t setting
out to do top 200 I set out to find a way to do
the volume I was doing and at the time I was doing
$50 million a year and I would later be doing a
hundred and more a year doubling with a life of
quality working four days a week and I continue
I refuse to work five or more days a week because
I don’t want it to now it’s a fear factor right
it’s a mindset breakthrough problem that I have
is like if I work that fifth day I’m going to get
suckered into working that fifth day forever so I
will never work it and that’s what changed things
and one day I was sitting in my office and I got
a plaque in the mail and I said congratulations
you’re in the top 200 loan officers in the
country and I had no idea no idea but that’s
a sacrifice that because one of my questions is
do you believe you have sacrificed some things to
be where you are now no I do not anymore I do not
anymore and I think a lot of people say with you
know something’s got to get the problem is people
live in a world of balance and when you look at a
scale your 50 50 that means you’re sacrificing
something so I’m never sacrificing I’m 100% here with
you here in a story right and when I’m done here
I will be a hundred percent doing whatever else
I’m doing and so I’m I’m task shifting in a
manner that makes that allows for me to play 100%
full out I’m not text task shifting for a look of
a second like a goldfish and getting nothing done
and trying to balance and I mean so I said which
of the exhausted if you’re trying to see I’m not
a balance and you’re exactly right I was tired
and so I said enough I’m not doing the balancing
too anymore as a woman as a wife as a mother and now
grandma and everything was that a decision between
you and your husband to sit and talk and say
okay this is what I’m doing this is what I want
and this is going to be our situation our life of
for a while until I do this or it was just your aim
it was made it’s me yeah it was completely me I
actually I mean some of the leading up to this
all the signs were there right all the signs and
the reading up to this I had done because this
was several years ago I had sent an email to
everyone asking them to describe me in three words
right I said be totally honest describe me in
three words well of course I got back what we all
would get back all your great your love or
your smudge and all these wonderful things what
person sent back two great things in a third and
he had it in the bottom and he said not present
and so I had to get my big girl panties on and I
had to call him and find out because I couldn’t let
this lie right I had it confronted and when I
called him I said he took you put on here you know
not present can you help me understand that because
I feel like I’m always present you know I’m like
running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Right?
I’m always present so I thought being present was
and he said you know Jan he goes you have these
huge events you have these beautiful things as
a lender and then he goes you’re like a Bumblebee
you just go from a flower to flower person
oh that’s cool how are you and he said I’d
rather watch you sit with three people and never
acknowledge that I was there than to see you
do what you’re doing because you don’t have any
depth to you and I said yeah but it’s like a
wedding you know in yeah butts right it’s like a
wedding I want to make sure everybody knows that
I appreciate you being there and he said everyone
appreciates it because you invited them now show
them that you really have that curiosity for people
and so that next year my big word was curiosity
well it wasn’t curiosity was be curious
and I said you know I have to be present and I
think that that trigger for that year well that
was one year and then the next year was I’m not
going to be a yes woman I’m not everything because
if you know if you want me to do this I’m happy to
do it but you’re only going to get 10% of me because
I all I can do is show up and give you that I can’t
give you 100% I just can’t and so I learned that
I had to say no in order for people to get 100%
of me you know and not be a yes woman and I think
those two years triggered the awareness for me that
triggered ultimately how my whole life changed you
know and how my production went up and my hours
went down and and that led to people asking me to
speak on stage how the heck did you do it how
to build this big team and so in a village I had
make a decision yeah so which is a great lead
to my question who is the first person because
we’ve seen each other in so many different events
venues from up leaders to and you’ve been on
stages we’ve been together who was the first person
that helped you guided you mentored you or gave you
the state for you to speak yeah that’s a great
question because I see I had been part of my sales in
lending was education and training so I didn’t want
to go out and do one to one to one I wanted to do
one to many and I still I still advocate for that
with my all my clients who whatever they do for a
living because like it’s too short we don’t have
time to go onesy-twosie everywhere so one to many
is it just a better way so I had already been
speaking and teaching and again I was a performer
remember I played people I was a beauty pageant
person so I was already a performer cheerleader
so all of that was easy for me so public speaking
and groups and everything you’re you’re comfortable
on to make me a second major yeah that was second
nature for me so you know initially it was all on
the lending business but there was no one who took
my hand and helped me do that I would say if anyone
started me understanding different concepts
about being on stage and whatnot it would be a
Iman Aghay that started with a mom Jerel
Rogers brought in a less salesy approach and more
approach it was more like my personality which is
you know if this resonates with you reach out let’s
have a conversation and see if this is you know if we
can work together if we can compliment one another.
That is more my style so he helped me with that
and you know so I mean and then it just led to
another you know Paul think was another person
that led to Jay Sonder then Greg Reid was helpful
then David Corbin was helpful you know it just
continues to go a King Midas is another one
and now Kirik actually is my main coach now so I
have it just sort of you know goes along with what
I’m needing to help so I think there’s so many
people you it takes a village there’s never
right you know touch on something even as a
coach as a leader as someone who coaches others
do you have your own coaches as well yeah and I
would say you know none of uh plan Arthur’s another
one of mine he’s he’s really great I don’t want
I just want to leave anybody out right now but
but the thing is I walk coach with someone who doesn’t have their own coach.
Because that’s your dad you know do our let’s say
that come to our viewers I will not coach someone who
has not had a coach or who’s never been a coach now I
will not coach with a coach higher for me up for me.
I will not coach is someone who doesn’t themselves have a coach.
You know Tony Robbins has a coach he has multiple coaches because one of his coaches
mine okay yeah awesome because if I were to ask you
do you have a philosophy by what you live by you just
gave me a bit of a philosophy but do you have
another philosophy then you live by like a either a philosophy or a ritual a daily
etc yeah that’s just I mean that’s just in the coaching
world you know like someone who come up to me
and say you know or I’ll go to them and say hey
look I’m looking for a coach to help you with
x y and z but before we even have a conversation
about you getting all excited that you might get
money from me who are you coaching with hmm they’re
not coaching with someone I don’t even meet them
because they’re telling me that they’ve capped their
life they’ve capped their personal growth they feel
like they know it all and that doesn’t work for me
that doesn’t work at all Richard Dreyfus has a coach.
And we both know him I will say who it is but
Richard Dreyfus has a coach and you know he’s on the
phone with Richard Dreyfus all the time and I’m
second because he’ll go hold on Richard’s calling
you like okay right and so I think that that’s
just very shallow so yes that’s it in the
philosophy now in life I mean I’ve got all kinds
of things I believe that you should live your
legacy while you’re building it I think that so
often we’re saying once I have this success then
I can live my life then I can travel then I can
do all those wonderful things and that is not the
case I don’t I don’t believe in that at all I ran
across a I’m looking for right now but I ran across a
a sign that says the same thing as live your legacy
while you’re building it and I just ran across
the other day so I have a picture of it but I have
to get it out because I haven’t memorized it yet.
And I’m just so excited about this this as well because it says the same thing but.
Having said that while I’m looking for it um you
know living your legacy while you’re building I
think the other thing is creating a work life
that makes life work right create a work life that
makes life work instead of us and I’ve shared
this on stage quite often is if you think about a
tire and a wheel on a car the wheel is the steel
mm-hmm to the rubber right the wheel we focus so
much on business and career and then what happens
is our tire our life is secondary and it gets
nails and it gets treaded on it gets flat and
we get divorced our health is awful and we have
me you name it it’s from so what if we inverted
that what if we the inside is our life.
This is the most important this is you know arms of steel if you want to call it like a
financial professional physical all those pieces
the wheel of life right it’s steel and then our
business becomes the tire and it becomes a four
wheel type right that it’s ready to go for any
terrain on our way to success instead of a half
hazard business or a half hazard life both of
these are strong enough to sustain all that in
self that is beautiful and then what’s worse is if
you see a tire and it’s a beautiful hubcap right
like oh I like that and the hubcap falls off
and it’s a fake mover mm-hmm this oh my business
is great until the hubcap falls off and you’re like
it it it’s not as good as you thought it was
right so so no hubcaps only can you so if someone
is struggling right now yeah let’s say one of our
viewers is watching this and wants to be in touch
with you or wants a coach and they are struggling
the business is struggling and but they have a
great vision they have a great creativity but
somehow they have not been able to return or turn
this wheel or they can’t even do anything about
it there’s too many nails they have too many flat
tires right too many flat tires what can you say
how can you guide or coach or say something that
starts turning this wheel in a different path yeah
so first of all I just want to make sure that I
express this too I think that we use the turn coach
very loosely I feel there’s a difference between
a coach and a mentor I’m not a coach I’m a mentor
and while they do similar things a coach knows
the game and tells you what to do and inspires you
to be able to achieve more in your life a mentor
knows the game inspires you can tell you what
to do however they walk the walk they know what
it feels like they know when you’re going to
encounter problems and challenges they know what the
mindset is of someone who’s in business who’s
encountering these hiccups and so I like to say that
I mentor people so the first place it starts from
and so I have another saying that I say which is
mindset plus mechanics equals momentum you can’t
have just you know I’m going to throw this out
into the universe and I’m going to manifest that
on my business is going to grow that’s not going to
work because at some point you have to have the work
you have to do the work you also cannot just do the
work and not have the right mindset to be able to
see when things are when challenges come up that
it’s time to take a turn to time and maybe not
at one eighty but just a little one degree turn
right that will make a big difference and so
that’s where the momentum happens so what I do is I
start with that mindset and I’m not a mindset coach
I just start with the mindset of what are your
core values what are your boundaries and I do this
from my own experiences my family was number one
it always has been well god first right so faith
first family stability integrity and accountability
those are my five four values and when I ask you
what are your core values and someone responds to
me by saying um family would that be a core value
inside a core value I don’t know family it’s it has to
be a conviction and it can’t be
a question and if in fact your family is a core
value of yours and why are you working till 11 o’clock
at night now look I’m a mentor because I did it
I’ll get it I said my family was a core value
and then I worked till 11 o’clock at night.
Right but there was a time where I said enough
boundaries let’s put some values it’s determined what
those four values are and then let’s put values
around them and I promise you the people that
recognize and respect your your boundaries will
be the people that are attracted to you the rest
have been let them go just let them go learn about
and so that’s where we start as core values you
know having the vision that you want in your
company um that inspires you I’m not interested in
motivating anybody that’s short lived in sex
cheerier it’s an outside job you got a clump
you get motivated you’re not you’re not inspired
enough to grow your business because it’s
going to hurt right it’s going to hurt on the way
here’s if there was a fine line of a difference
between motivation and inspiration and so when
people ask me do you do a motivation or inspirational
a lot I say I’m more of an inspiring yeah then
motivating you it’s not momentum I inspire you and
then we dig in well if you don’t say that or are
you a motivational speaker and I’m like I hope not.
Oh god I hope not I hope I don’t just like give
people shots of you know something and then it
all dissipate later and then they need to drug
again I want to give you the drug that you’ll have
for the rest of your life right it’s sort of like
dieting a next diet a different diet and this kind
of diet I eat all these motivational diets or you
could just learn how to eat properly and that’s
inspiration and you don’t need it that so I have
a better philosophy for that one is the one that
I work with with my clients it’s not what you
eat it’s what’s weighing you down that I help you
really oh yeah excellent I love that yeah and that’s
that’s what we’re talking about here is digging deep to
find out what charges you up what do you mean
that excite you to get up every single morning
and nothing will get in your way and don’t tell me I can’t write or tell me I can’t
however you want to say it in that context is
get out of my way because I’m so inspired about
what I’m doing that nothing nothing will stop me not
a computer breaking hey I’ll get on my phone if I
have to nothing’s gonna stop me from getting
where I want to go but we have to know where it is
and like I said earlier it can’t necessarily be a
Montblanc pen it can’t be I get and want to make
a million dollars because that’s what everybody
says I should do what is your definition of success
my definition of I love what you just said what if we can sign a million dollar check.
And give it as a a donation now that inspires me yeah
and that’s it see and that’s that’s what’s so great
about life is that that for you that’s an
inspiration for you is hey I want to make an
excellent a dollar so that I have the ability to
write a million dollar check to a charity that
that means a lot to me for someone else it
might be time it just might be time right and
success for me I’m a client who said this was years
ago he said to me I don’t want to close more than
a certain amount of business every month I want
to make more than a certain amount because it
robbed me from my three children and I think
they were all over six or something and one
month he exceeded that and I called him and I
apologize I said I’m so sorry I apologize that you
you made more money that you wanted to because
I was very clear about making sure that we
you know constructed this business it does just this
so that you can have that and he said no no it was fine
now I have a new one now it’s double that and like
but but I mean I want to hear that I was hearing
him because he was you know he had this limit
for himself I just got him to the limit with half
the time half the everything right have the own
pain and the butt the stress that everything
and he realized it’s possible it’s possible to go
for it and I ever thought and so my coaching is it
when your dreams are too low your dreams are too
high they’re too much about money they’re too
much about time they’re too much about playing
they’re your dreams I just know where I’m taking
you I I already knew okay I’ve played this game
with them but yeah so we’re going to start with
a mindset and then we’re going to start looking
at the mechanics because so often as entrepreneurs
and speaking to entrepreneurs only you know
and business people we were really good at our
at the skill that we have and we thought well we’ll
just have that company we’ll make a company out
of it but we’re not good at management and
leadership and we lack that skill so as a result we
hire fire fire fire fire fire and then finally
give up and just say I’ll just work all the long
hours but it’s not sustainable and of course then
happiness starts dropping out of you and you’re
like why am I doing this so we make sure that the
mechanical pieces that are required to scale and
that’s why I’m known as the scaling architect
because we want to make sure the mechanical pieces
are there after we’ve reset your mindset okay so
two questions I don’t want to I want to make sure
that we are on time for you honoring your hearing
yeah okay how did you get the title lady Jen that yeah yeah okay yeah you know I was
nominated by someone else who’s in we’re in the
Royal House of Cappadocia so you know we all
know the English you know the English not
you know but the king I want to say Queen but now
it’s King Charles right England it’s the Royal
House of Windsor and so I’m in a different
Royal House it’s a Royal House of Cappadocia
and inside of that house and I’m a member of that
and inside of that house I’m also a member of
the Royal Order of the Constantine the Great
and Saint Helen and it’s the oldest Royal Order
in the world and we weren’t Templars but it goes
all the way back to there we were established in
360 or 380 AD I can’t remember right now and so
you know we have nights in well obviously nights
for years and then days later so I’m a Dane I
just chose I chose and can choose to go by lady
or by Dane and we are we are a order of faith
hope and love of charitable giving of chivalry
and our focus is on helping homeless women and
children and trafficked children people generally
but mostly children and making sure that they are
you know taken care of that’s what we do and so we
are building homes all over the world where they
will come and rest have nursing care you’re having
doctor mental care and all of the things that they
need to get going and get back in the world so.
It really was interesting because I was cut off
bar by it I wasn’t planning for it wasn’t looking
for it didn’t buy it you don’t buy this title
but it honestly it’s just an extension of what I
already do because one of my criteria is philanthropy
and charity and that’s what I’m really involved in
and so it’s just an extension of what I’m
already doing so that’s how that came about yeah.
And what is the most meaningful gift that you have received.
The gift I’d say it goes back to my uncle right
when he called me Jenny who I got a penny and told
me that I was going to be like my parents I think
that he’s alive now he’s 90 years old you know
if it’s touching go sometimes but he’s alive
and well and you know I think that that was the
biggest gift because in hindsight I believe I would
have been that and here’s why I have a brother
who is 12 and a half years younger than me and he
is homeless and he refuses to come live with me.
He refuses to let me help and he just wants money
and I won’t give him money and he’s not a drug addict
he doesn’t drink but he was conditioned to be
exactly what my mom and dad were and he didn’t have
someone tell him what my uncle told me and that made all the difference in the world.
And you didn’t tell him the same thing no because
I do now but when he was at that it because there’s
12 year difference so think about oh yes when
I’m 19 he’s in kindergarten and whatever and I’m
already starting my life I got married at 19 I
just been loving your football but he formed our
patterns and the blue I was still struggling right
at 19 even at 45 I was still trying to prove and
and you know all of them me and so by the time
you know I got it and figured it out you know I’m
almost too late he’s he’s dug his feet in and that’s
how he wants to be and and I love him and that’s
okay you know I’m always going to be there for him
but I will not send him money and just won’t do it.
He knows so he doesn’t ask me for money.
Why no six things for him so I’m like okay I’ll do that I talked to what I’ve
put some of my clients is like it’s not always
about drugs but we got to stop enabling.
The ones we want to bring up yeah there you go
that’s it and he’s perfectly capable he’s just
stubborn and that’s where that’s where it’s at
he’s just absolutely stubborn and stuck in his ways
and now I’m 60 so he’s what 48 you know there’s
not much I can do to change him at this point
and I just discovered this about myself 15
years ago so it wasn’t you know and that time my
mom was around and she was doing the enabling so
you know it is an important thing it really is
unfortunate but you know I still love him I
still live in to death I care what happens I
pray about him all the time I talked to him
all the time but I just I can’t succumb to the
“what was me” and then this set and the other
and it’s just you know I moved on and I can’t go
backwards and I this is why the Riviera is tiny
and the front is big so that you can see what
is possible rather than living in the past and
I just can’t live in the past and um yeah so
that’s awesome so I want to say that also one
thing it’s like thank you very much for saying
yes and being a part of The Powerful She book
as well and it means a lot when you said yes
I had tears in my eyes it’s like ladies and said
yes and I know because it’s like you know how
we get to see a lot of people and we sometimes
it’s like a Bumblebee we’re at different events
and everything we see each other we say hello
we hug and we move on yeah but how I got to.
I admire who you are we spent quality time on the
boat present the present yes on our boat which by
the way we did this last weekend again I missed it but
on that boat we got there were other people but I was
I was the one with the phone watching and talking
and not necessarily on the phone I was just using
it that as a metaphor that you said you were on
the phone and your family was in the restaurant
but I was watching and we were involved we started
talking about so many things personal things
business things about the boat how to rent a
boat instead of buying a boat so it was a whole
different way of who you are and then at the at
the meeting in the chair and who you became and
being a dancer which is core because I used to
dance ladies and Jen became Jen yes so and that’s
who you are and I admire you my lady for everything
that you have created and you have established
and you are doing not only for your family but for
so many thank you thank you so much yeah and it’s my
you know it’s my honor to participate I you know I
wanted to participate in September whenever it was
and I couldn’t get everything my act together you’re
again hopefully we’ll have a chance in the future
but you know I love what you’re doing I love what
you’re doing for women I love that you’re trying
you know to help that you are not trying but that
you’re helping women and you know letting them see
the real themselves the real the you know them notice
I don’t say empower and I don’t by the way it’s very
I don’t like it when people say they empower women
because I think we are we just haven’t and we’re
not aware of it yet we already are empowered we’re
just revealing it revealing it to people so I’d
like to leave with this quote because this is
what I love leaving with which is it we flatter
those we scarcely know we please the fleeting guests
but we deal many I thought let’s blow to those we
love the best including ourselves so be good to
yourselves be good to your family because they’re
there to support you be good to the people that
work for you because they’re there to support you.
And remember to not be you know please all the
fleeting guests and then turn right around and
yell at somebody in the house because women we’re
like that we smile and put that mask on in the
front and then we turn right around and say you
shouldn’t have this that in the other so I’m just
asking to be nice to yourself and to your family
and thank you thank you and by last question
please complete this statement late Jen is lady Jen
is um oh I gotta do it fast because we just went over 45 minutes uh lady Jen is
and there’s a lot of things coming up there’s a lot
of things I’m just I mean to give you just
anything I would say um I am not aware I’m aware.
Beautiful ending thank you so much and for our
viewers thank you so much for being present.
Being here um definitely please leave comments
and messages and we’ll definitely get back to you
Jen how can we reach you yeah the best ways go
to gendered classes at common and that’s all you
have to do and I know you’ll spell it out and
put it in there I will put everything in there
you know all kinds of resources there and even
learn about our programs and speaking and all
that good stuff awesome thank you and for our
viewers god bless you may you have a wonderful.
Holidays merry Christmas and I will see you next week bye bye thank you thank you

Embracing Change, Embracing Change, Embracing Change